PENGALAMAN MANAJEMEN KONFLIK HUBUNGAN JARAK JAUH PADA RUMAH TANGGA TKW DI KABUPATEN BREBES JAWA TENGAH

Abstract

The high rate of divorce experienced by the migrant workers’ family is predominantly triggered by unharmonious relationship due to the conflicts happened in their households. To resolve the conflict, it is necessary to have good conflict management skills between the couples in order to maintain a good communication in a long distance marriage of the migrant workers’ family. The basic theory used was the relational dialectics theory developed by Leslie Baxter and Barbara Montgomerry. The data were obtained from in-depth interviews with four former migrant workers as the informants. The data analysis method used was the phenomenology from Van Kaam. The results showed that the causes of conflict experienced by informants were interpersonal conflicts, such as jealousy and financial problems. Each informant has a different style of conflict management, namely constructive management (discussion, accommodation, and collaboration) and destructive management (competition and avoidance). When the conflict emerged among informant I and III, they immediately discussed the problem until it was resolved, so the conflict was immediately resolved. In the case of informants II and IV, whenever the problem emerged, they always consulted to their husband. However, since the husband was irresponsive and tend to avoid the discussion by remaining silent or avoiding their spouses, it worsened the problem to the extent that they can be separated, as in the case of informant II. Otherwise, the informant IV decided to ask for help from a third party to resolve the problem. The differences of the conflict management style carried out by informants are influenced by several factors including conflict assumptions, communication skills, collaboration with partners, and commitment. The constructive conflict management is capable to minimize the occurrence of ongoing conflict and sustain the household. On the other hand, the destructive conflict management can lead to a family breakdown if there is no strong commitment to maintain the sustainability of the marriage.